{"id":441,"date":"2005-10-25T21:35:47","date_gmt":"2005-10-26T04:35:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angrypirate.dreamhosters.com\/wordpress\/?p=441"},"modified":"2005-10-25T21:35:47","modified_gmt":"2005-10-26T04:35:47","slug":"loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/loss\/","title":{"rendered":"loss"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 class=\"post-title\"><\/h3>\n<p>I cried a little the night my dad died, but it wasn&#8217;t overwhelming sorrow, they were simple tears. Tears of shock, not the tears of loss. I went to work the very next day. He didn&#8217;t want us to grieve. I was feeling fine, my boss asked me if I really wanted to be there. Sure, I said, staying busy helps. I had my coffee and worked for a while. I went to the bathroom and once the door closed shut behind me, I realised I was alone for the first time. The bathroom was so quiet, like a vacuum. The lights were so bright, like they were calling me out, exposing me. &#8220;hey, we see you, you can&#8217;t hide from us. You aren&#8217;t that strong, no one is.&#8221; The tears started. They filled my my insides like a dam breaking. I couldn&#8217;t even say goodbye at work, I just left. I couldn&#8217;t let anyone see me like that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I cried a little the night my dad died, but it wasn&#8217;t overwhelming sorrow, they were simple tears. Tears of shock, not the tears of loss. I went to work the very next day. He didn&#8217;t want us to grieve. I was feeling fine, my boss asked me if I really wanted to be there. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}