{"id":665,"date":"2006-05-06T20:06:03","date_gmt":"2006-05-07T03:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angrypirate.dreamhosters.com\/wordpress\/?p=665"},"modified":"2006-05-06T20:06:03","modified_gmt":"2006-05-07T03:06:03","slug":"the-popcorn-attack-of-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/the-popcorn-attack-of-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"The popcorn attack of 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"

We were innocently popping some popcorn in our hot air popper last night. We’d had a couple shots of tequila and were feeling fine. The popper was going a little nuts so I tried to turn it towards the wall so the flying popcorn madness would stop. A very hot popcorn kernel flew in between my glasses and my eyelid and got stuck. OUCH! ouch ouch ouch, it burned so bad. I flung my glasses off and grabbed ice. It didn’t burn my eye, thank you master of all things fleshy, whoever you may be. But I did end up with three gooey blisters on my upper and lower lid. Fun! So I’m eyeglass bound for a couple days. No contacts for me. It’s like the reverse of that Adam Ant video with the stuffy glasses wearing reporter. Oh yeah baby, here’s the vid<\/a>.<\/p>\n


\n


\nNo one’s gonna tell me
\nWhat’s wrong or what’s right
\nOr tell me who to eat with sleep with
\nOr that I’ve won the big fight big fight<\/p>\n

Look out or they’ll tell you
\nYou’re a Superstar
\nTwo weeks and you’re an all time legend
\nI think the games have gone much too far<\/p>\n

If the words unspoken
\nGet stuck in your throat
\nSend a treasure token token
\nWrite it on a pound note pound note<\/p>\n

Don’t drink don’t smoke – what do you do
\nDon’t drink don’t smoke – what do you do
\nSubtle innuendos follow, must be something inside
\n<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We were innocently popping some popcorn in our hot air popper last night. We’d had a couple shots of tequila and were feeling fine. The popper was going a little nuts so I tried to turn it towards the wall so the flying popcorn madness would stop. A very hot popcorn kernel flew in between […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-665","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/665","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=665"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/665\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=665"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=665"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alannarisse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=665"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}