me: “I saw the regularity pills in the cupboard and I thought ‘I like to be regular’ so I took one. But when I got in bed, I got a bad case of heartburn. So I looked at the ingredients on the bottle and they have cappsicum in them, which I think is cayenne pepper. So I ate some banana cream pie.”
tom: (belly laughs) “That’s a lot of work to go through for some pie.” (laughs some more).
me: ” I really do have heartburn! Bananas have cooling properties.”
tom: (laughs some more) “Uh huh, I’m sure you’ll be alright.”