Even though I took most of today off and I had my little pumpkin adventure yesterday, I still managed to finish up three chapters and send them in. I have 5 chapters left to do in two weeks. Totally doable. Three of them are a fair bit along already. Looks like this deadline will be a little more sane than the last one. I’m not free from occassional meltdowns and my soul energy meter is very low but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got the election booklet in the mail yesterday. It read November 8th in big bold letters. I felt a rush of elation when I picked it up. That’s just 10 days before my finall due date. I felt like I was holding my freedom in my hands. That means I’m getting close, that there is an end, that life will return back to some sort of normal pace.
Tom doesn’t believe that I will take it easy when I’m done with this book. He thinks I’ll just fill my time up with other stuff. I can understand why he thinks this but I don’t know. I’m really having a hard time with having very little free time. I’m scared about money and I don’t know what the future holds. I feel like I’m on a big, windy cliff and the ground around me is disintegrating. I feel more and more exposed every day. I don’t know if the cliff is going to hold. I want to go back into my cave where it is quite and warm. Boy, any psychiatrists out there want to take a crack at this? Geez.
Anyway, I went to some open studios today. I met Anna Conti for the first time after many email exchanges. We stopped by David and Susan Grote and wandered around Fort Mason for a while. The weather was spectacular. At 6 o’clock we were sitting my the water in short sleeve shirts. Ahhhhh. Tomorrow is the last of my midterms. It’s a big relief but it also means that a paper will be due soon.